Fundamental #7 of the #16 Fundamentals of the human mind
You get what you focus on
Focus on the issues of the past and you focus on what has happened. Focus on what you don’t have and you are going to get more of that.
In my clinical practice working all over the world with elite athletes and teams I like to ask the question of those who are very much focused on the past…
“Did you drive here today?” Yes…
“Did you reverse all the way here?”
No that would be stupid…
“So why are you doing it in life?”
SILENCE…. And the reality hits, they are focused on the past, out of control, going backwards down the freeway and probably in the passenger seat!
A simple process of turning around, taking control of the car and going forward is all they need. You can go at your speed, the direction you want and take the passengers you want in your life.
If you really want to look backwards, it will be to reflect on how far you have come!
AND… be careful to only focus on the positive! Wanting to be less stressed is still stressed. In a positive way, less stressed is more relaxed, more motivated.
Ohhhh and the unconscious mind does not understand the word …don’t.
Don’t think of a blue tree, don’t think of a pink rabbit!
Focus on what you do want.
Think of an amazing life, full of happiness, health, love and wealth.
I have found this to be very difficult to manage in my own life and that I need constant reminders. That is why in fundamental#4 motivation is only possible with direction, I have the answer in my pocket. The laminated image of my 2020 Target. This gets me to focus on the future not now.
A discussion happened this morning with my wife about my son and it threw me as I was focused on getting out the door to come to work to finish this book. I had this thought in my head and the discussion churning around and the sight of a car that I will have soon (thinking in advance) was enough to refocus on the future, what is important? and the issue was resolved in my head.
When you can refocus immediately on the future, the feelings from now will dissolve. I like to imagine living in my 2020 world and reflecting on today to see if this will have the same emotional feel now the issue is 2 years older.